Joseph Fletcher in his book, Situation Ethics, states that the "ruling norm of Christian decision is love, nothing else." What he is saying is that love stands by itself apart from any fixed standard of righteousness.

John Lennon seemed to agree, when he sang, "all we need is love, love, love is all we need." But the fruits of his of drug abuse, sexual irresponsibility, parental irresponsibility and Godless self-preoccupation do not produce a role model for Christian love.

What then is love? Don't be so sure that a definition can be universally agreed upon. Abortions, euthanasia and other murders are often performed under the banner of "love." Adultery also is rationalized by "love" for someone outside of the marriage relationship. Doing what "feels good" cannot be the definition of love, either, because all discipline, from potty-training a two-year-old, to house breaking a puppy, to denying yourself that gooey brownie, requires some degree of discomfort to reach the desired goal.

For a Christian, the standard definition of love can only be what God in His holy, infallible Word says that love is. I John 4:8 says that God is love. Verse seven just before that says, "everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God."

To know God intimately will not happen solely by sitting around and trying your hardest to have a relationship with Him, or by posting snippets of catchy phrases from the Bible on your wall. Without understanding the Person, the character, the attributes of who God is, it would be like trying to have a long distance romance without any sort of communication between the lovers. Pretty soon the true person would fade and you would have to invent what was missing in your mind.

A love affair must always be taken to ever deeper, more intimate levels. That initial "love at first sight" must be replaced with a real understanding of who that person is, how he thinks and "what makes him tick." The same is true of our relationship with God.

To be imitators of Christ, as Paul says in Ephesians 5:1, we are to walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us. So if Christ is our pattern and example, then what He says throughout Scripture is to be our guide to follow for our life, and our pattern for loving others.

Jesus tells us in John 14:15, "If you love Me, keep my commandments." The Psalms and Proverbs especially are full of reminders and admonitions to read, study, and obey God's law, His whole word, as a means to the end of loving and obeying God, and thus glorifying Him with our lives. Therefore, to love our neighbors, our fellow men, as we ought, we can only begin and end with loving God. And the path to loving God is to understand and meditate on His word, His whole word given to us in the Old and New Testaments of the Bible.

It is not just a suggestion, but a command. Mark 12:30 & 31 says, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength; for this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these."

To properly and obediently love the Lord and our neighbors as Mark enumerates it will require on our part a great deal of study and meditation of the whole of the Bible and the more we study and meditate the more deeply the Holy Spirit entwines that word in our hearts so that when we do speak to our Lord in prayer, or to our neighbor in a loving discourse, those words and principles will be on our hearts and come off our tongues more and more.

If we do not spend time in the word, what will come off our tongues will be whatever we are feeding into our hearts: romance novels, television "wisdom" or pop culture psychology. The reflection that the world will see in us will be our "god," what ever has our heart and mind.

In this case, if the love you are practicing is not based entirely on God's word, all of it, then you are displaying the "love" of a false god; not the majesty and character of an almighty, righteous, sovereign, just and holy God, but a wimpy, whimpering, impotent idol of your own making.

This perversion of true Christian love that is so popular in today's "Christian" culture, dictates that we must "love" the sinner while backpedaling furiously away from his sin. To point out the sin and call for repentance is labeled "cruel, legalistic and 'unloving.'" Contrary to the counsel of God's word, open sin is tolerated in the church because it just seems so unkind and judgmental to hold a fellow Christian to such a "harsh standard."

In reality this perversion of God's love is hatred towards the sinner. Proverbs 13:24 says that a father who "spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 23:13 & 14 reveals the true nature and focus of love: that if correction is applied it "shall deliver his soul from hell."

True love, therefore is a desire to be conformed ourselves, and to encourage our children and those we love to submit to the word of God, all of it, not just the "comfortable, 'love-y' parts." God always wants and does what is best for His beloved. Not only is it unloving of us as Christians, but it is actually hatred of others if we do not do the same.

Note: Jo would like to acknowledge her thanks to Tabletalk Magazine for the article "The Grace of the Law" in the September 2002 issue, which helped her with some of the content and much of the inspiration for this paper.